Hah, oooops.

I knew I would forget, I knew it. This is why journaling never worked for me. I am always really into it at first, and then.... nothing.

It has been OVER A YEAR since my last post. My, oh my. That time has gone by faster than I ever thought it could. Since my last post I have moved three times. To Sisters, where David and Leah opened up their foster home, then back to Bend and into my first apartment. Now I am living in a house on the westside of Bend with two incredible girls. I know, three girls in one house? I dont know how it works, but it does. Also, in the past year I have put over 20,000 miles on my car, mostly driving the highway between Eugene and Bend, I ate my first mango, got 5 tattoos, I have met countless interesting people and have definitely fallen in love with Bend. I feel weird saying that but it is true.

I have my roommates to thank for that. Before I moved in with these girls I didnt really care where I ended up after school. I still didnt really feel like I belonged in Bend but once I started hanging out and meeting all of their friends and making some real friends of my own that I actually had things in common with I started realizing this town isnt so bad after all. Of course, they have both lived here their whole lives and are ready to go somewhere else, but I really really do not want them to. They have showed me so much of this town and I have discovered so many great things about myself and the people around, thanks to them. They will be here at least through the end of this summer, so I know we will make it count.

Mid-june will be my one year mark at my job, Longboard Louie's, healthy mexican food restaurant. I will also FINALLY be graduating from school around then. I am soooo excited and ridiculously nervous about it at the same time. The idea of starting my CAREER in just over a month can be a little terrifying.. buuuut it will be nice to get out of the restaurant.

Its weird thinking about all of the things Ive done in the past year. So many different events/things/people have got me to the place I am now. I guess I have come a lot further than I realized.. I thought I was going to be able to fit all of the major stuff Ive done into a short post but the more I think about it, the more I want to add... maybe this will keep me going for a couple of posts.... gooood night.

That's All Right.

What a couple days it has been. The stomach flu has been going around the house and it looks like I'm the one that's supposed to get it next. Hopefully it decides to skip me because I can't be missing any school. For the first six weeks of school, which are our pre-clinic classes, we are not allowed to miss any time. If we do miss some school we aren't able to perform the service we were learning that week once we get out on the floor until the next class comes around. Personally I think its silly, especially in the winter months because were not allowed to come to school sick and if we do we are sent home because of the contact that we have with the public. Either way we are forced to stay home and are being punished for it. So for now I just stay away from everyone. Haha.
Mom and Bella came this weekend. It was really nice to see them both. Mom kind of spoiled me Thursday night and took me shopping for a bunch of lunch food. Love her!
Maybe next weekend when I visit Eugene it will be worked out so I can bring Bella back with me. She likes having the other dogs to play with but they also wear her out pretty quickly and its hard to just leave her here during the day while I'm at school. It was so nice to have her at home yesterday when I got out of school.
Yesterday seemed to be endless. Not bad, just non-stop. Every Friday for the first six weeks we have models that come in and receive the service we learned that week. Leah has been my model four times now and I think shes loving it. Haha, except for maybe that part yesterday when I lost control of the sprayer at the sink and got us both soaked. Yeah, that was embarrassing, but I guess just about everyone does it at least once. We did a solid all over color and it took almost 4 bottles to get all of Leah's hair. The color turned out so PRETTY though! We almost kind of match with our reddish hair now. After that mom met Leah at the school and they both got pedicures and then Leah got a manicure while I deep conditioned and styled mom's hair. Poor Leah got the nuttiest student at the school to do her services. Shes and absolute head case and I think she should be kicked out of the school. Oops... did I say that? Anyways, I had a lot of fun because it was the first time I got to use a station out on the floor and it was also the first time mom got to see the school. I was a little bit nervous but more excited. I cant wait to be out on the floor regularly. I guess I need to start some self-promoting....

Forget Me Not.

One of those nights. I just want to be back where I was. Where it was safe and easy and I knew what to expect. I didn't know I'd miss it this much. The past three weeks have been so much more than I expected. School is going alright, its just long. Nine in the morning to five-thirty at night takes a lot out of you. I job-hunt on my lunch break and evenings as well as I can but there are only so many places I can go in that time. Thankfully, I have a wonderful family who are willing to help me in anyway that they can although I still don't like the idea of using their money. I haven't worked in over a month now and it is the strangest feeling. Going from two jobs to not even being able to find one is pretty stressful. I'm running out of money. I barely have $50 to my name right now and thats barely enough for gas for the next couple of weeks. On top of that, I somehow screwed up taxes this past year and now I owe $400. I don't even know what to do about that...
I honestly feel like I'm losing control right now. School is waring me out, job-searching is stressing me out, and Im really just starting to get lonely over here. I really miss everyone back home. I think my timing was a little off too. It seems like some great people and things were happenning just as I had to leave. It would be easier to meet people if I knew someone. Hah. I'd like to be able to go find a nice coffee shop of something just to at least be around people, but lack of money is really restricting a lot of my travel around town. Hopefully the weather will get nicer soon and Ill be able to travel on bike.
Its just time for things to speed up and get happy.

Chinny chin-chin.

I woke up this morning with the worst case of nerves in the history of me. It's not just moving that is bothering me though. Everything right now seems to be in an in-between stage. Not quite here and not quite there.
This past week has been so unexpected but so perfect at the same time. I still cannot get over how amazing my birthday was. Everyone and everything, I loved it all. Since then Ive been pretty non-stop. If I'm not out, I'm home packing. Which is, by the way, one of the most depressing things in the world. Every time I go to another corner of my room I find something that brings back memories and feelings that I forgot about. Putting it all into boxes is just something Ive never had to do before. Unpacking is going to be a whole different experience.
One of the best parts of the week was having people in the house again. Kind of like a last hoorah! before I leave. Brought back memories and feelings from summers ago. So many things have changed but there are some things that will always stay the same. It was nice to just laugh and have a good time and catch up. But it was hard to think there may not be a chance for that again, at least not for a long time.
Last night was a hard night. Katherine left for Florida this morning and she will be there for six days. That means I will already be gone when she gets back. I'm kind of bummed I didn't get to spend more time with her but its probably better this way so that we don't have to say goodbye tomorrow. I can see that being a terrible mess...haha.
The weird part about this week and preparing for everything is that I still haven't cried. I don't know if that sound weird or not but I kind of feel bad that I haven't because I really do feel sad, its just not showing. Maybe it just still hasn't hit me. I'm sure once I get there there will be waterworks. Oh, I cant waaaaaaait....

Can't stop; won't stop.

For the past few years, my birthdays haven't really been ones to remember. People die, dogs almost die, and parties get canceled. I know, it really could be worse but it still just seemed like bad things seemed to happen around my birthday. So this year, I didn't want to get my hopes up about anything, which didn't really matter anyways since this whole weekend has been just about perfect.
My last day of work was Thursday so I was able to sleep in Friday morning a little bit. Mom made a big breakfast for me with biscuits and gravy and eggs and hashbrowns and orange juice. SO GOOD. My tattoo appointment was at one, but when I got there I realized I had left my wallet at home. Thankfully, mom was able to bring it to me and everything worked out okay. My tattoo turned out perfect and I absolutely adore it. Next, I went and had my haircut for the first time in almost a year. It was really weird to have someone else doing my hair but I'm really happy with the way it turned out. Mom took me on a little shopping trip at Torrid for the last time before I move and I was able to see all the girls there, which was nice. Afterwards, Katherine and I headed to High Priestess to get my rooks pierced and the anchor in my chest done. I also finally got new nostril studs that match the anchor.
To wrap up the day, Justin, Katherine, and I went to Marie Callenders to PIG OUT on 5 different kinds of desserts. Such a satisfying sugar overload. Also, Katherine gave me my gift which is an amazing painting she did just for me to put up in my new room in Bend.
As if Friday wasn't a good enough, Taylor and I joined our birthdays together for Saturday night to have a super MUSTACHE BIRTHDAY BASH. I got to see a lot of people I haven't had the chance to see in a long time and probably wouldn't have had the chance to see otherwise before I leave.
I am so pleased with how well everything went this weekend. I really couldn't have asked for a better birthday/last weekend in town, which only makes this whole move a lot harder.
I just tried to start packing some things and I didn't really get very far. I have no idea where to start. What's going with me, what's staying here. This snuck up on me so fast.
I guess I should probably try to get one box done before I go to sleep....

Late night blahblah.

Three-thirty in the morning. What am I doing awake? Not sleeping. Twenty-one hours from now and I will be a legal adult. As long as I've waited for this to come, and as many times being under age has gotten in the way of things in my life, I'm actually quite scared that it's actually happening.
It's not so much my birthday or the fact I'm turning eighteen, it's everything else that's coming along with it. Starting Friday, I am completely responsible for myself and all of my own actions. I mean, I have considered myself to be a pretty responsible and independent person for the past year or so, but now that I have to be, it just seems different. Even more-so now that I'm moving. I never really planned to even move out of the house right when I turned eighteen, let alone the city. To another one three hours away. I could be staying in Eugene, going to one of the cosmetology schools here, but really where's the adventure in that? When will I have to chance again to really experience a new town, meet new people, and just get away from everything, even if it is just for a while? If I were to stay in Eugene, things would stay the same. I would work at the same places, see the same people, do the same things. I would stay the same. No need for change. But leaving all of that behind will require some growing. Learning and adjusting. This is all I've ever known and I'm ready to know MORE.
I wish it were easy as it sounds though. Although, I know I'm going to have fun, it really isn't going to be the same without my best friends. I love all of my friends dearly, but there are two in particular that I'm really going to have a hard time without.
Justin/Apple and I have known eachother for around four years now. Since we met, he has been someone I know I can trust and talk to about almost anything, and someone I can count to really be there for me when I need it. I can't imagine him not being my best friend. I don't want to.
Katherine/Peach and I officially met in English class during freshman year. I was making elephant noises and she was snorting, I'm pretty sure. We didn't really become friends until the end of that year, but ever since then we have been unstoppable. We're very different people with different lives, coming from different backgrounds, with different dreams, but it works. Even with all of our differences, we're able to stay on the same page. She is the best friend I will ever have, partially because there is no one like her, but mostly because I refuse to live without her.
It's not going to be easy knowing that I won't be able to just hang out with either of them whenever I want to. I wish I could take them both with me, especially since I don't know a single soul in Bend besides the family members I'm moving in with (which I'm very thankful for!).
I have a little over a week left, so I guess we will just have to make the best of it...

Nothing yet; something soon.

I used to love to write. I used to do it all of the time. Maybe I was good. Maybe not. That didn't really matter though. I always felt like I had a lot to say but never really knew how to say it until I actually put it on paper. I don't really know why I stopped, but I did. I switched schools, started working, and got a car. So there went all of my free time. Life has been pretty routine for the past year or so, too. I guess maybe I just never really had anything to write about...? But here I am now, three days until my eighteenth birthday and not even two weeks from moving away from the only town I've ever really known, leaving it all behind. Life is happening, things are changing. I think this may be a good time to start writing again. About anything and everything. Routine does not exist right now, so I guess we'll just have to see what happens...

So how does one blog about nothing? Well, nothing in particular at least...